Dominoes

Copyright,2015,Tooykrub/Shutterstock 

"Do you have a journal? He asks 

I nod like a kid again, I don't know why but I couldn't afford to do any small talk or assert in any other way with him.

"Then do write this down today....see there are things that you heard in this conversation that you might not agree with right now, but you might want to go back and look at it just in case."

I remember I had a meeting with a guy once who was in his thirties and I asked him what's twenties like? He was like you will find out for yourself. I just couldn't bear to not have atleast an idea of what's it like....I crave sharing of experiences. You learn and you pass it on, that's how you make sure they don't make the mistakes or fall in the pitfalls that you did!

At the core of every stranger, there is a human. We all want the collective to strive in the end, our race to move ahead...and not retrace the same missteps that we did.

One thing that I am greatful that has transformed in me is that I have truly opened up. I do not hold back from talking to a stranger, I never bring up that barrier that I believed existed till now that "you cannot talk to strangers." The reasons seem reasonable but restrict us from our very true nature...to exist in a community, a tribe.

"All my best friends now were once strangers to me. Heck, even my family was once stranger to me and they were the ones I first built a relation with."

But that tiny, hard to pin, miniscule yet gibbous, overlooked yet prominent word called coincidence. That's what awes me.

That vibe. How your flight for the first time in life was supposed to be on Friday, two days back...and not today. How, you got to go to an international airport in an airline you never booked before. How, you just spot a stranger and sit infront of them as if it's the most normal thing in the world. I was really drawn to his shoes. I watched as he was toying with his suitcase handle pushing it down and pulling up and I chuckled internally when he looked his suitcase over as I stared at it intently. I was interested. I saw that he had the same water bottle that I did and I bemused to myself again, "Yayy, I got the same bottle and look there's a camel in it too!" (All pun intended)

Then he talked. "Are you going to Amritsar too?"

And I nodded.

And that's when the magic unveiled. The first word and the one who starts the conversation is the most hardest and crucial point of our lives sometimes. After that, you just lay back, and go with the flow.

There were a lot of coincidences where I once more felt how small the world really is....the classic Punjabi looking guy, the engineer. But conversation is like playing cards, the more you play...the more there is to reveal. That's when you learn something you will never forget. The layers is what you need to work through really. The differences is all the difference that makes.

"Can I sit beside you?" I asked. 

He was cool with it. He had this aura of easing up anyone who was around him and yet he was guarded with how much he revealed and interacted...like a tap. The faucet was not dripping, but neither was it too uptight. Then I knew why this was so.

"What's your age?"

"27. I am way older than you."

Me thinking internally: Yeah, he is old.

"Naaah you are not old! I am 23. So 1,2,3,4...you are four years older than me!"

His age was a crucial factor in this. It is in this age when you are not too old that your words don't register in the mind of a twenty year old kid; but not too young that you lack the substance,the experience to showcase your life as an example to a twenties kid doubting their potential.

He was tired as fuck. I could feel the weariness dripping from him and yet, he kept conversing. He told me about his fiance, his wedding. I tried my best to be a woman infront of him, to show my mature side...but I kept forgetting my phone on the seat, my aadhar card fell on the ground which umm he gave to me and I practically took on the role of a younger sister that day. As a woman, I know about this world. But as a younger sister, I seek advice from an older brother I never had.

We boarded the plane. After a one hour long delay. Now that I was playing the younger sister, I was his timepass and he was my confidante, which was just perfect tempo for both of us. 

I really wanted to bask in his aura more. I wanted to be around him for as long as I could. It was rejuvinating.

"Can I please sit beside you?"

"Yeah, but I am gonna be sleeping the entire flight."

"No problem."

"We will have to ask our neighbours."

"They will adjust. I will tell them I wanna sit beside you."

(Him trying desperately to make sense of me and to me at the same time)

"Okay... let's just sit in our seats first and see what we can do."

I literally sat only for three minutes. I had no neighbour beside me, so I decided to invite him to my seat. Surprisingly,he had no neighbour sitting beside him either. 

"AP Dhillon, AP Dhillon! Wake up! There's no one beside my seat!"

(Anonymous name for privacy reasons lol)

The lady sitting on the third seat nudged him. He let me in. He asked me if I wanted the window seat.

I nodded. If I were a woman, I'd say he was a chivalrous gentleman. But right now, I just wanted to sit there and I was glad he offered it to me. I even wanted to share my meal with him. I had brought coki with me. He offered me his tray of lunch and I insisted that he ate my coki😂. But that's when another familiarity clicked in. His fiance is Sindhi too.

"You know the guy I am into, he is a Punjabi too!"

"Well yeah, you stay in Punjab so it's highly likely."

That was my moment of decision. Do I reveal my story to him or should I keep it light and easy. How deep can you go with a stranger? You gotta test the waters.

"Can I have your two cents of advice?" And this is the gold that I uncovered. It's not what he said because internally I knew that the guy I am into is toxic for me and I should leave him. But the way he said it, that hit my heart like a comet of enlightment.

He basically taught me about the pyramid. I will never forget that. The higher level you achieve in life, the more you will demand from a guy. And the ones who can't deliver that to you, will automatically fall off or be left behind. 

What he told me, I cannot write because I am still processing it. But the way he taught me, noone has till now and I am greatful for it.

There was this concern and genuinity about what he said to me.

"Guys lie,they mislead. He can emotionally damage you."

"What has he proven? Let him prove himself. You should demand more. Women should always demand more. A guy needs to be physically,emotionally and psychologically mature to provide you all that."

"You need to work on yourself. Make your place in this society. A teacher. A name that means something. There will come a time after you start earning that you will automatically demand more. You will think to yourself, Oh am I borderline narcissistic? But it's always about balance. Finding your centre, your inner core, your peace."

"Guys are territorial. They want to show they got the best. But what's sad is it's neither gonna help them in the long run nor is it just to you; the women. You can marry an average looking person as long as you can come home to: Peace. You have no idea how important that peace is. That understanding if not you today, then I will do it. I can do it."

"When you are independent and your partner is independent(physically, emotionally, psychologically) and when two independent people come together, that's when you know this is the one."

The flight landed. I persistently shoved my chocolate that I got in my flight meal to him. He adamantly did not want to take it, he even offered it to the lady sitting on the third seat beside us!

"IT'S A SOUVENIR,TAKE IT!"

He gestured that I keep it down low all the way smiling for the twentieth time in that flight. He finally gave in and took it. I hope he ate it. Because I gave my chocolate to him. My Joey dilemma.(an inside joke from friends, instead of food or sex...I had a dilemma of chocolate or figure? Lol)

............................................................................................

There was this coldness of a stranger. And yet there was also the warmth of a fellow human being. 

"It's tough,I understand."

"You are a good person, you will do good."

"Just be honest with yourself. It's hard, but do it regardless."

Like Dominoes; chips fell into place that day. Rare moments of coincidence and logic meeting to add a big piece of meaning to my life.