- September 28, 2021

Mental Stigma-Is It Real?

The Village- Wrabel -Listen to this song for better reading experience.

Introduction/Please Note: Hey everyone, before we begin i would like to tell you a little bit about myself and why i started this blog in particular(I promise i won't brag about my achievements here, if you came here to get 5 tips to become successful, you are in the wrong place my friend). So here's the deal: I ,like you, am a human being; with feelings. And often i have to hide what i truly feel or want to do from the outside world which is just absurd. Just while writing this blog i thought, who writes a blog in purple, just write it in black like others, that's the "norm". But ladies and gentlemen, we will do everything but the norm here. This is a place of raw conversations that i have had with myself and with my closest friends, out in the open for you to know, and either get blown away by it or nod your head and think, finally you are not alone.

A Story

Just a couple of weeks back i was in a really bad place mentally. I had anxiety, I was burnt out, I was suffering from a bout of depression. I was mentally unstable. Hence, i missed my classes one day, i just couldn't gather enough strength to show up and act normal like i wasn't suffering inside. And here's the best part: a classmate of mine called me up asking why i hadn't attended classes today and you know what i replied? I replied i had a cold and was down with fever and hence i couldn't attend my classes today. Now i want you to raise your hands(raise silently in your head if you are around people right now, cause not "normal" duh) if you have done the same or faced something similar in your course of life. If you haven't done this, give me the name and number of the therapist you go to cause boy, they are good. Here's the deal: Mental Illness is not justified in the dictionary of our society although all therapists out there will tell you this..."you should talk to someone".

Mental Stigma

It was not until the 17th century that the concept of "mind" was precisely formulated. Till then all that was considered by everyone was that we have a big mushy part of our body that takes up most of the energy of our body in order to function. If you are asking me what has this bit of information got to do with history, i want you to get the gravity of the fact that despite our brains being 1.7 BILLION years old, it is still hard for us to grasp the fact that there can be such a thing as Mental Illness. From your friends, to colleagues to family, just count the number of times that someone said to you something that triggered you, your anxiety, depression, whatever it is you are going through and you said nothing, and neither is anyone educated to be sensitive when broaching such topics.

A classic example to prove you further that Mental Stigma is real is an episode from my currently favorite sitcom comedy show "The Office" from the episode where all the employees are given Hazard Safety training( season 3, episode 20). In this episode, Michael Scott( the regional manager of a paper company called Dunder Mifflin) gets told off by Darryl (his warehouse worker whose job is to do delivery of papers) that his job doesn't involve "Hazards" or "Implications" as much as their job does since a warehouse worker's job requires physical endurance. Michael later tries a desperate attempt to demonstrate that how depression and loneliness are a part of life in corporate world and how it leads to suicide, something which is pretty common when people work all the time with no personal life .

This probably still runs true since India is the most depressed country in the world, according to WHO, followed by China and USA. Mental Illness is a cause of suicide for 6,491 people or 7% of total suicide committed by youngsters and 71% of those who committed suicide due to mental illness are males. In short: This is Not Cool.

Isn't Depression just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out"?

Lastly, here's a quote i am putting down that i came across on instagram and if this sounds relatable to you, then my friends you have your answer, Mental Stigma exists and it's very real.

"Mental Health is talked about loads. It's talking about Mental Illness that's taboo."

Does Therapy Even Work?

Let me clear the simple facts and terminologies first because most people are often confused by Therapists and Psychiatrists. Even considered the same by some, just fancy names. So here it is, Therapists are those who can give you therapy(obvious point) but they cannot prescribe you medicines(yup, if you are seeking a therapist, no happy pills for you). Psychiatrists on the other hand can diagnose you and prescribe you medicines. Going to therapy myself and from experiences of my friends who have gone to therapy as well, this is what i have gathered.So here's the thing nobody will tell you, Therapists are for the rich and Psychiatrists are just going to offer you a quick "fix" to your problem, not the actual cure( I also like to call them santas). Here's a quick little fact for you: While talk therapy is a popular way of overcoming depression in the West, here in India anti- depressants are still being prescribed despite the evidence mounting against their usefulness. Prozac or "happy pills" need not be taken if you got divorced or someone died. So if a Psychiatrist offers you pills without you suffering from a clinical illness, then please say NO. These pills will only end up altering your brain chemistry in the long run if you don't need it.http://www.firstpost.com/living/dont-pop-that-prozac-the-rise-of-anti-depressant-abuse-913007.html Now let's talk about therapists; what you need to understand that this is a business. Just like a physician checks you and then charges you, so do therapists and psychiatrists. If a therapist charges you 3000 for one hour for a single session then that doesn't really fit well with the tagline that has become popular "everyone should get therapy". Just like some doctors have humanity and respect your needs and care for you accordingly and become "family doctors", same is the case with therapists. Often therapists are thought to be naturally warm and empathetic but that's not the case for every therapist. Beyond all the jargon talk and degrees all that we are looking for when we walk into a therapy room is a human being, period. Humanity is the core of therapy and settle only for those therapists who make you feel comfortable and assess you to prescribe you medicines or give you therapy based on your needs, not something that needs to be done:Customized, not Generalized.

The bottom line is this: Therapy is not a one size fits all solution. For some, therapy works and that's great,don't leave it but for some it doesn't work, because of several reasons, and that's okay too. It shouldn't be an absolute necessity to go to therapy to feel alright, because not everyone has the resources to get therapy in the first place. Sometimes you may be progressing really good in therapy and you might not even know it(like in the series, Sopranos where Tony Soprano, a mafia boss changed a lot after therapy but never acknowledged his psychiatrist). So yes, it can be confusing. What is important is that you keep a track of your progress and a good therapist will always tell you that therapy should not be the only room where you talk about your vulnerabilities. Sometimes talking to a friend or a trusted partner can be therapeutic too, no charge.

Source- The Guardian
Series-The Sopranos

Therapy or no therapy, you have to put in the work inorder to set your life on track, therapy room is not Hogwarts, just a place to give you the help you need to solve your problems, so if you are looking for a change, therapy is the right place for you. But what about the cost?

Well in my mother's words: Health is Wealth. Once your mother starts dragging you to a therapist because you show signs of a mental illness, and your boss understands you took a leave because you had an anxiety attack, that's when we will finally be in a place where Mental Health is as important as Physical Health.That's what we should focus on.

What role can the Society play in wiping off Mental Stigma from the face of this earth?

Simple Answer: A Huge Role.

In complex jargon: Society works by the following words: Morality is based on Majority

In short: If 9 out of 10 people talk about Mental illness and consider it as a serious issue to be addressed, then the one person will be considered a fool for not believing that Mental health is a thing and exists. The problem is how to get there since we are yet on the opposite side of the spectrum where 9 people ( count your family, friends etc) don't quite grasp how big a deal mental illness can be and how it can impact your work and personal life.

The Hidden practices that is followed by the society aka your friends, coworkers, parents etc that lead to Mental Health Taboo and possibly elevation of underlying Mental Trauma:

Parents: "Why do you need to go to therapy, this is just a phase, don't think much about it"

Such types of statements don't make the child feel heard, which is key to solving any issues.

Replace this with: Can you please tell me what exactly you are feeling so that we can figure out together what kind of therapy/ other solutions we can discuss further.

Source-QuotesGram
Movie-Little Miss Sunshine

Friends: "Let's go to a bar, everything will get alright"

While our parents simply are in denial that something such as mental illness exists, our friends are no better either. Most peers choose to ignore the issue altogether giving vague distraction methods which lead to poor coping mechanisms and serious ramifications in the future. Again the individual suffering here will not feel truly heard.

Replace this with: "What's wrong. What happened. Tell me, I want to understand. I am here for you; I am here to listen.

Most of the issues will get resolved if you just listen. Sometimes that is the best form of therapy. Never give advices without fully knowing if they are helpful or not, if you are not a professional, you cannot be sure what type of stimuli can trigger the person in front of you.Best way to deal with this is not to ignore, but to know. Get to know your friends, their trigger patterns. Truly understanding humans is no doubt the most important steps towards progress, and it's not hard either, our ancestors did it, we can too; start by paying attention to what your friend is saying, and the moment your friend says something that could be a sign they are depressed( i don't know what i am doing in my life etc) or suffering from an anxiety/ panic attack ( sweating too much, saying sorry too much and speaking very fast etc) don't ignore them and carry on as if everything is "normal". Listen to your gut, for any shift in environment is easily noticeable to you, act on it. We don't want another case of suicide attempt and a friend going " If only i had asked them if they were okay."

Source- Buzzfeed

Society: "I could never have imagined that He/She needs therapy. I thought they were normal, but they are a mess. How can they carry on with their responsibilities if they have (gulp) whispers: "Mental Illness."

Source-The Emerging India
Movie-Joker

Old people society: "There is no such thing as "Mental Illness". It's a scam.

First of all: When it comes to society, it is a collective and a slow process. If you are not in a place to fight for your right with the society, don't. In my friend's words: You don't have to be the messiah for everyone. Fight only when you are ready to, not because you have to.

Replace this with: "They are brave enough to seek the help that they need. That is so cool."

This will happen only when our society grasps that just like COVID virus is not visible but deadly to our physical health, Mental Ilness too is not visible but deadly to our mental health. And yes, there are symptoms to every Mental Illness so you will know it's not all "in your head' or being "hysterical" aka taboo norms used in the society.

Old people society: " In our times there was no such thing as Mental Health, but i would like to understand it now if you can tell me"

Yes, our grandparents and possibly even our mother and father grew up with poor coping mechanisms since this term itself was like the illuminati: non-existent. So it is important for our generation as a whole to make them understand this new change in the system so that they can have a reason to change their attitude towards looking at mental health.

Source- Pinterest
Series-The Sopranos

Final Message to the Society:

Make therapy accessible. Institutions like Schools, Colleges, Workplaces around the world should tie up with therapists and arrange free therapy/ counselling sessions, workshops 24/7. I had no idea this could be possible until I got admission in Lovely Professional University, Punjab; wherein they have a tie-up with Your Dost app, where all students have free access to all the therapists in that platform to talk about a wide array of issues they are dealing with. It's pretty simple: A happy workplace equals to a progressive workspace. I cannot wait for the day where counselling cells inside a college/ school are as common and important as placement cells. And no one is ashamed to walk into that room, since it is the place where you progress,nothing short of that.

Also media and music aka entertainment industry plays a huge role in changing the mindset of a society so more and more media on mental illness and taboo should be highlighted.

Some of my favorite shows that address mental stigma and health are:

The Sopranos

Bojack Horseman

Bo Burnham

Afterlife

My mad fat diary

Joker-Movie

Good Will Hunting-Movie

My favorite artists who address Mental Health are:

Linkin Park

Green day

Halsey

Source-IMDb

When we were kids and someone fell of a staircase, few laughed at the child's misery and pain, some ignored that he had fallen down in pain and carried on blindly, and some helped him get up. Same is the case with Mental Illness, although not externally visible. What role of the kid will you take up on?

What kind of society will you build up for your kids in future?

What about you?

Often times, we don't realize that it is us who pushes people away the most. Since our education system never taught us the "language of opening up", we never find it easy to open up about our vunerabilities since they are seen as a sign of weakness. As much as it is the society's responsibility to make this stigma go away the first step has to be taken by You and I. And that is, to open up.

The day you open up about what you are facing through, you take back half of the power that you had kept in the hands of the society. Opening up about your issues gives you the courage to seek help, the validation that you are not alone.So many people face against this very dilemma- How difficult it is for people to open up although they know deep down that they cannot possibly find a way out of this without seeking help. In the words of my mother again:" Be completely open if you want the cure to your suffering." So stop making this a taboo yourself, only then will the ball move from the court.

To sum it all up: Just reach out.